‘Twas the night before Christmas, and within the house
A penis was stirring, a hand on a blouse
The stockings were thrown by the bed without care
In the rush to get to that tight pink underwear
The children were forced back down into their beds
While thoughts of suicide ran through their heads
And man after man, in Ohio State cap
Had hands in their pants with the sound of a fap
When from the child’s bedroom there arose such a clatter
Their parents weren’t home, it wasn’t a matter
In the covers a body, in the camera a flash
To celebrate a child’s first vaginal rash
The skin on the breast of the child below
Gave a shine like the sun and his eyes went aglow
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear
But the image of Brutus, who he did so revere
With a massive old boner, so lively a dick
He knew in a moment he’d come for the chick
More rapid than eagles his thrusting it came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called out their name
Now, Janet! Now, Julie! Now Donna, and Jenny!
Oh Bridget! Oh Rachel! Oh Kelly and Penny!
Take them out to the porch, pin them up to the wall
And rape away, rape away, rape away all!
As small girls that before the wild pedophile cry
When they meet with a Buckeye and look in his eye
So up to the bedroom the Buckeyes they flew
With the lust for some boys, and of course some girls too
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the bed
The slapping and sucking of penis on head
As they drew up their drawers and were turning around
Down the hallway their dear Brutus came with a bound
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot
With an astroglide tube in his little black boot
A column of boys he had lined at his back
And the Buckeye fans all felt a twinge in their sack
Their eyes, how they twinkled! Their dimples, how merry!
They all were so willing to pop such a cherry!
Their droll little mouths were tied up like a bow
And the semen they spilled was as white as the snow
The stump of a dick they held tight in their teeth
And the lips, they encircled the head like a wreath
They came on his face, on his legs, on his belly
Stopping only to ask for some more KY Jelly
They were chubby and plump, as Ohioans would
And I laughed when I saw them, anyone could
A wink of their eye and a flick of their head
Let the children all know they had something to dread
They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work
And filled all the rectums, finished with a jerk
And laying a finger aside of their bros
And giving a nod, all their penises rose
They sprang to their vans, as Brutus gave a whistle
And away they all drove, like a kid-homing missile
But I heard them exclaim as they drove out of sight
“Many rapes have been had, so it was a good night.”
